tangent

You wake in the state. the state gives you a start. your start to see a clearness. your shower clears out space. your space is in your state. the state is disarray. and disarray is okay.
And useless is the pondering.
And I reverted back to the possible breakdown again last night, but managed to turn it into some cinematic beauty. The dancers on the screen seemed to present themselves as some emulation of my perceived life. A projection of my life was being lived out right there in front of me on screen. Now he throes his pen, melodrama. They chase and falter, and caress without restraint. What they're doing could've, could be, could be me. And I don't know how but it was how my mind raced in those few short seconds.
What this pertains to is more like a self-examination, a self-checkup tumorous tumultuous mind cancer. but the fats are straight. I am here with a conscious of my own to choose what I wish, and make myself out of those choices. Among the choices I can make are the numerous ways in which I can perceive a situation. And just as much, I can choose the various and all equally possible ways I can think and feel about a situation. Evolved human forms, is that possible? Really I think I just want to create the circumstances that would make that scenario a possibility.
It isn't about my knowledge agains yours, but how we choose to give and receive that knowledge and perspective. Really, the knowledge, wisdom, is just fluff. But what we choose to do with those inputs once they're received is imperative. We are otherwise lost without an ability to process. Valid yet contracting ideas can exist in tandem, or simultaneously. There cannot be hostility on the receiving or giving end.
But the terms will have to be explained in a manner that the listener may follow along. Language must be shared between the two opposing ideas. This also means that the ideas may openly borrow the vernacular of the other.
This, I believe, is what leads to cohesion. Not agreement in content and steadfast allegiance to dogmas we don't understand, but rather a constant flow between the two opposites. A discharging lightning bolt attempts to equalize polar opposites, without actually changing either of them. The flow of energy is what quells the storm.

how is it you do?

"Så prøver vi."

people seem to think that asking the question, "and, uh, yaaa, so like, what are you trying to do with this," will be able to further and aide a work. I think in reality it works just the opposite, and it signals a facet of laziness in the viewer. that thinking needs to be eliminated, or at least questioned and prodded.

and so we try. i can see nothing wrong with this attempt, and view, so long as it holds true when asked. while sitting around and discussing, we need to accept rejection, accept failure somewhat, but never, no never, accept ambivalence and hiding in neutrality. we must ask, "so what is it you´re trying with this work. what you´re trying out" stepping back in that way.

and when people can be confronted with what they actually have done and maybe see its affects, rather than jump to conclusions, and try to set fast what we should see in a work. life is unpredictable, art will reflect that.

I have been in another country for some time.

Of course you know I've been away, doing something. I've been resetting to zero in some ways, finding out what I deem valuable, and what I can leave at the wayside. It's been refreshing. consoling in some ways, and quite remarkable.

I've written quite a bit while I've been here, none of which I've put up for no reason, other than lack of access. I've done some poems that are to help me in learning Danish again, forming a straddling line between that and English, also illustrating frustration with the prospect of having to learn in the first place. here is one.

gooook gook gook
gik
gik uummm eeeat um up up ..

galleee gee gook my gwamma,

yoo just goook look it all up it gik it in
the ældre meanings menneske
the people reading eaach other
to gik is to take
to take is to look

but only if you wwheeely wannaaa
my mormor menska
wiw bliw together
vi blive sammen
begynder nu så det er så let
hvis vi kan lige xplore ohh day

ohh day its wi work
ohh dag
wishout my mormors tunga
vi habba a ny langu nu

dag ah tilla hjælpe mig
soo swearty svært
my jeg's git så sweeaty
varmt me up up

dag ah one poema til hjælpe mig
så duh!
så du kan læse day
gik me offa mit leash
nu så du hava lasso. gik my

en day så do kan lasso it iinde
day fo' det sprog

leah mole
hendes me søster
she men sammen med my
lige mod så kan do sov

når if its rigtige when you soven
you so can let me, så let to see
sige day
to look is to høre
når do see day?
kan you listen til my to
nej tre timers.
three timer

er do two
do du has to?
itsa sprog, tilla lære,
hvis you kare.
no, når da baby

hen had to, men
hen dropped den
man droppa sprog
mom droppa sprog
so drenge droppe
eller aldrig picka up

vi ka sige day helt day
whatsa missin vi see det
ah day split til to
er my split i two?
er vi, er du?
det er ikke mig,
nej det air day

nej, days a two timer
its min frustration
from ikke læred day
jeg know day er ikky
kommer nu
til tænke on om day
its sjov til sige day

vi håber en show now
day hvad vi have.
alle what vi habe nu
no, nej ikke noget til bay
no, left noggin in det bay
nej, jeg er ikke nogen
no, one det er my.